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Logic Quotes by Famous Authors

Nature cares nothing for logic our human logic: she has

1. “Nature cares nothing for logic, our human logic: she has her own, which we do not recognize and do not acknowledge until we are crushed under its wheel.”

Nature, Logic, Powerlessness, Human Limits, Inevitability

What’s important is that twice two is four and all

2. “What’s important is that twice two is four and all the rest’s nonsense.”

Logic, Rationalism, Certainty, Dismissal, Absolute Truth

Science is a method of logical analysis of nature’s operations

3. “Science is a method of logical analysis of nature’s operations. It has lessened human anxiety about the cosmos by demonstrating the materiality of nature’s forces, and their frequent predictability.”

Science, Philosophy, Nature, Anxiety, Logic

He that cannot reason is a fool

4. “He that cannot reason is a fool.”

Andrew Carnegie

Wisdom, Intelligence, Logic, Thinking, Knowledge

For me writing is as close to being an engineer

5. “For me writing is as close to being an engineer as possible.”

Writing, Creativity, Precision, Engineering, Logic

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning

6. “I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.”

Bottle, Cleaning, Vodka, Logic, Humor

You know crazy straws – they go all over the

7. “You know crazy straws – they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say, “we’re going straight to the mouth. That guy who takes a while to get there? He’s crazy.””

Straws, Drinking, Humor, Logic, Wordplay

I know a lot about cars man I can look

8. “I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.”

Cars, Headlights, Humor, Observation, Logic

People on the 14th floor you know what floor you’re

9. “People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on.”

Numbers, Logic, Humor, Perception, Reality

You should never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’

10. “You should never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’ sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”

Escalator, Humor, Irony, Logic, Observation

If you are flammable and have legs you are not

11. “If you are flammable and have legs, you are not blocking a fire exit.”

Safety, Humor, Irony, Logic, Fire

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match

12. “I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match “It’s a fight to the finish”. That’s a good place to end.”

Boxing, Humor, Irony, Logic, Sports

I was at this casino minding my own business and

13. “I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”

Safety, Humor, Logic, Irony, Absurdity

2-in-1 is a stupid term because 1 is not big

14. “2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That’s why 2 was created.”

Logic, Humor, Absurdity, Wordplay, Mathematics

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?

15. “Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”

Language, Phonetics, Spelling, Logic, Humor

Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

16. “Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?”

Cats, Food, Mice, Logic, Humor

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t

17. “Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?”

Language, Construction, Logic, Words, Humor

If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror how

18. “If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?”

Dracula, Reflection, Vampire, Logic, Humor

$Five out of four people have trouble with fractions$
19. “Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”

Math, Fractions, Logic, Irony, Humor

Your honor why would anyone in their right mind park

20. “Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?”

Court, Driving, Logic, Traffic, Humor

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

21. “Does fuzzy logic tickle?”

Logic, Thinking, Paradox, Humor, Wordplay

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

22. “Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?”

Psychics, Mystery, Logic, Questioning, Humor

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but

23. “Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?”

Irony, Logic, Food, Observation, Humor

If you got into a taxi and the driver started

24. “If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?”

Logic, Humor, Irony, Transportation, Perspective

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled how would

25. “If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”

Language, Perception, Logic, Humor, Perspective

If warm air rises Heaven could be hotter than Hell

26. “If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.”

Science, Paradox, Humor, Perspective, Logic

If you tell a joke in the forest but nobody

27. “If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?”

Philosophy, Humor, Perception, Perspective, Logic

They say we’re 98% water We’re that close to drowning

28. “They say we’re 98% water. We’re that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.”

Humor, Science, Perspective, Logic, Irony

How many people does it take to change a searchlight

29. “How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?”

Wordplay, Humor, Perspective, Logic, Curiosity

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

30. “What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”

Humor, Logic, Paradox, Fear, Perspective

I just lost a buttonhole

31. “I just lost a buttonhole.”

Wordplay, Humor, Observation, Perspective, Logic

If man evolved from monkeys and apes why do we

32. “If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?”

Evolution, Science, Logic, Humor, Curiosity

What I like about the jokes to me it’s a

33. “What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny.”

Comedy, Logic, Humor, Perspective, Observation

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to

34. “Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?”

Marketing, Consumerism, Logic, Observation, Humor

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and

35. “Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?”

Logic, Naming, Irony, Humor, Observation

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness

36. “The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.”

Physics, Food, Observations, Logic, Humor

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out

37. “I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.”

Food, Humor, Absurdity, Observations, Logic

George is a radio announcer and when he walks under

38. “George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge, you can't hear him talk.”

Sound, Logic, Humor, Absurdity, Observations

Why is the third hand on a watch called a

39. “Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?”

Time, Wordplay, Logic, Humor, Language

If one synchronized swimmer drowns do all the rest have

40. “If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?”

Sports, Logic, Irony, Questions, Humor

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to

41. “If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?”

Weather, Math, Humor, Logic, Paradox

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you

42. “Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?”

Habits, Logic, Technology, Reactions, Humor

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers why

43. “If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?”

Humor, Predictions, Luck, Logic, Skepticism

After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour before

44. “After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?”

Amphibians, Science, Absurdity, Humor, Logic

In Vegas I got into a long argument with the

45. “In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.”

Gambling, Math, Vegas, Humor, Logic

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

46. “How do you get off a non-stop flight?”

Travel, Logic, Irony, Wordplay, Absurdity

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

47. “Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?”

Animals, Food, Logic, Humor, Science

What do batteries run on?

48. “What do batteries run on?”

Energy, Logic, Absurdity, Humor, Science

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

49. “Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?”

Geography, Roads, Logic, Irony, Absurdity

I used to have an open mind but my brains

50. “I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.”

Open-Mindedness, Logic, Humor, Thought, Absurdity